Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Let's hear it for the crusades!

We're going to gloss right over the two paragraphs I wrote (then cut) yesterday and dwell on the positive: I finished my cold-snap-worthy hat. The plan for this balaclava was to knit a giant tube closed at one end, wash it in hot water, and cut a hole for my face.

Well, I made it too big, so I had to wash it about four times and turn it into shoe leather before it fit. Then I messed up with the scissors and cut the opening so low my neck will be exposed to the elements. Further adjustments for my glasses mean it's a bit wider on the sides than ideal for the conditions in which it's meant to protect me, though I did manage to keep a nice squarish top to cover my forehead. On the bright side, it was still so ridiculously long I was able to cut slits into the sides for my shoulders, leaving a wide swath in back and a nice curve for the part that hangs in front.

"I was thinking of sewing cat ears on the top," I said, modeling it for the nearest human and hoping my own opinion would be contradicted. I got silence, then hysterical giggling. "Exactly," I pressed on. "Because I knew it would look stupid, and I thought it might as well be funny too." "No no," nearest human said. "You need a big red cross on the back of it." It's true. I will wear this hat and become one of the knights who say 'ni', minus the antlers. But at least I can get back to my writing.


JMS said...

That's the funniest thing I've read in a long time! I can totally picture your hat and it sounds so much like something I would do. I'm trying to teach myself to crochet right now, but not having much luck. Maybe I need to actually read a book or talk to someone who KNOWS what they're DOING? Unlike me...

Oh - and the Monty Python reference is perfect!

Thanks for sharing!


Mary Keenan said...

Are you on Ravelry? There is SO much info there on knit and crochet! You have to request an invitation but it will get to you eventually and when it does, be sure to look me up - my username is Procrastinaknitty. The web address is http://www.ravelry.com/

There is also a ton on YouTube. I'm teaching myself the Magic Loop today and working up to Double Knitting. Because I have so much time on my hands, natch.

Kathleen Taylor said...

You MUST post a picture. I have to see this wonderful hat.